Thank you, citizen, for purchasing your own Deathbot to Gardenbot conversion kit from Alliteration Ink. We have been recognized as "a leading" "force" in converting "dangerous" Deathbots into Gardenbots.1
It appears that you have opted for the "audio only" conversion instructions. Entitled "Instructions for Converting your Deathbot to a Gardenbot", the instructions will be read to by their author, Matt Betts, from his book See No Evil, Say No Evil.
Note that the audio-only instructions carry no guarantee of effectiveness or warrantee against injury.3
Our lawyers have a tigers and lions and bears in their commercial. You don't want to mess with them.
To obtain the written instructions, along with his many other works (including such classics as "Werewolf by Night, Farmers Market Patron by Day", "Concerning the Fire in Lab 53", "Poem for a Bar I May Have Frequented in My Youth On the Occasion of it Burning Down", and "The Night Godzilla Dumped His Chick"), please use the appropriate buttons to the right. eBook formats $2.99, print $5.99.
1 "This conversion kit is a leading cause of decapitation in South Morgantown, WV."
"The force the converted ’Bot used to fertilize TammySue's lower back required twelve operations to correct."
"This kit is as dangerous as the Killbot itself!"
2 "Drops of H2O ( The Filtered Water Treatment )" by J.Lang (feat. Airtone) is licensed under a Creative Commons license:
3 Print and digital versions carry no guarantee of effectiveness or warrantee against injury.
about See No Evil, Say No Evil
Killer Shark? Check.
What more could you want in your poetry? Rhymes?
New edition print and eBook released by Alliteration Ink in September 2012.
Praise for See No Evil, Say No Evil
"...some fine examples of speculative poetry that manage to cut a razor's edge between funny and poignant without alienating a reader." Aaron Polson, SkullSaladReviews
"There is good poetry out there. Poetry that does not have its head inserted rectally, yet still possessing the intellect and heart to provide continued interest. Case in point: Matt Betts." Anton Cancre, HorrorNewsNet
Matt Betts is a former radio personality whose fiction and poetry appears in numerous publications. He writes a column and blogs for Blood, Blade and Thruster Magazine and writes a monthly column for the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers’ newsletter. He can be found at his own site at www.mattbetts.com. He’s ok putting his left arm in, but shaking it all about makes him nauseous.